Finding Balance in Your Life Begins with “You”

Balance is bull. So-called "work-life" balance, I mean. Striving for balance in the gym between strength and cardio moves? Great. A balanced bank account? Nirvana.

But achieving balance between work-life and your life-life? Please.

Think about it. First of all, let's be clear. Much of "life" is work.

Of course we love our children and want to spend as much time with them as possible. But is anyone out there finding balance while scurrying from one swim meet/soccer-football-basketball-game/tennis match/piano-dance-gymnastics lesson to another?

Didn't think so.

Then there are those trips to the grocery store, to fill the cars with gas, take the clothes to the cleaners. Then you've got to do the wash, clean the house, cook dinner or, well, I'm sure I forgot to do something! Nothing about that says balance to me, either.

Let's face it. After three decades of making our careers a priority, we're supposed to be beginning to enjoy the fruits of our toils: a life.

A balanced life. A little this (work). A little that (family). And a healthy dose of "us."

I don't know but I'm still waiting for the balance to tip my way. You're probably waiting, too.

Let's do the "balance" math. Between getting to your job, working the job, and getting home from the job, let's log 10 hours a day into the "work" column.

You sleep seven hours a night. (I sleep six, if I'm lucky, but I'm giving you more credit.)

That's 17 hours gone right there. Gone.

Then there are the aforementioned kids. Whether they're pre-teen, teenagers, in college or pre-life (that entails that period when they may have a job but aren't earning enough to pay for squat), you're probably spending at least a couple of hours a day engaged with them. Okay, maybe an hour. When you can find them. Or unplug them from the electronic device of the moment.

Your spouse or loved one? They get an hour. Admit it. Bad.

But I digress.

We're at 19 hours of work-life duties. Add another two for all the "stuff" you have to do at home (see: above) and around the neighborhood, just to keep the machine going.

That leaves you with three hours for, well, you.

It's not exactly balance, but it's a great start. It's time I'll bet you didn't even know you had. Time right now probably wasted in front of a television, a computer screen, or just slipping away into the abyss.

So what are you gonna do about it? Here's a plan:

1. Change Your Attitude: Now that you know you have time for time, celebrate. Stop telling yourself you're too busy, too tired, or just too too. They're just excuses. Smile about your newfound "fortune." Laugh out loud about it. A positive attitude is what will begin to tip that elusive "balance" scale towards you.
2. Make a list. Now that you're feeling good about all this new "you" time that you're going to exploit, write down three things you'd like to do with it. Things you enjoy but haven't done in awhile, or things you've never done. This is no "bucket" list, however, and it doesn't have to be complicated (i.e. skydive). Putting "read a book" atop the list is just fine.
3. Close your eyes. That's right. Just close 'em. Wherever you are (unless you're driving or hunting). Enjoy the dark. Enjoy the sound of yourself breathing. Enjoy your thoughts. Think of what's on your "you" list, not what's on your to-do list. Or think of nothing (which is pretty much impossible, but you're free to try it anyway.) Do this for 30 seconds three times a day.
4. Sweat. Now that you've changed your attitude, made your "you" list, and calmed yourself, get up! If "exercise" wasn't on your list, it is now. You can't take care of "you" without taking care of your body. If you haven't exercised in awhile, buy some solid athletic sneakers and start walking. Commit to 30 minutes at least three times a week, either outside while the weather's nice, or on a treadmill. If you already workout regularly, change it up. Take a new exercise class or yoga. Sign up for a Boot Camp. Challenge yourself.
5. Tackle that list! Do at least one of the items on your list every day. Then after six months, jot down another three things and add them, as well. You may never find an ideal "balance" between all the things that encompass your life and your "you" list. But as long as you make "you" a priority at least once each day, the scale will always be friendly.